Feminist Masculinity - Blog #2

1.)

- We all know the Leave It To Beaver life, where the the woman's "job" is to take care of the kids and the house while the men are away at work - and even when they come home they still don't really have to interact with the kids in the way that the woman does. Nowadays, in our modern world, men are getting the contradictory message of upholding the old standard of bringing home the bacon, but now they are also being told to come home and be a "good dad". While, from my standpoint, it is not difficult to be asking someone to do the two things, it can be psychologically taxing to be taking in those two different messages.

- I think that this example would hit someone at all 3 levels of communication. On the societal level, the main conflicting messages of being the breadwinner while also being Mr. Mom would be coming from all avenues ranging from the media, to the impact the past still has on us, to society in general. On the interpersonal level, the messages we get from the world around us actually hit home when interacting with those that we are close to. For example, unless talking to another stay-at-home dad, a man talking to one of his friends about what he does every day is likely to get slack about taking care of the tots while the "real men" are out making a living. As mentioned earlier, a psychological toll can be taken on someone when the conflicting ideals they are getting from the outside duke it out on the inside. Everyone can put their two cents into a conversation regarding an internal fight with themselves regarding whatever they are doing that is in stark contrast to what is being preached in society. This individual level of communication viewpoint shows how the messages we are getting from our society could wreak havoc on the messages we are telling ourselves/establishing in our lives as "truths".

2.)

- One of the biggest things I think that the patriarchy takes away from men is the ability to use "feminine" communication skills such as empathy, caring, and listening - at least in public domains. The video example below shows the stereotypical way in which men communicate when around other men.

Take Away Example

In the beginning, the person who gets made fun of for saying "I love you" shows how guy-guy communication is different from guy-girl communication. Obviously come sort of caring and loving relationship exists between the couple for them to say that they love each other, but that doesn't fly when around other guys. In our society, it is communicated at a young age to boys that showing emotion is not something that is allowed (DeFrancisco & Palczewski, p. 39-40).

- In regards to communication, men are given the right/privileged to be outspoken and are given the mindset that they are "always right". The below video example shows how not only men are very boisterous, but how, in contrast to women, they are loud and assume themselves to be right.

Privilege Example

In the clip, the guy who is guessing is obviously wrong once the woman next to him gives the right answer as to what is being drawn, but he still asserts that he is right until the other guy knocks him down a peg by telling him that his guesses are ridiculous. In the whole scene, if we were to count the number of guesses made by just the "monkey" guy and the woman on the same team, we would find that the guy makes many more guesses. Even though the majority of his guesses are hilariously wrong, there is still the stereotype of a domineering man who is speaking over and against a woman - even though she is right.

3.)

- As talked about earlier, one of the biggest things that men are facing is the assumption that they will all be inherently masculine, regardless of their personal wants because they are men. This is something that men need to be liberated from because not every man is muscularly superior, wanting to be the sole provider for their future family, or interested in being emotionally distant. There are men in our society who go against the ideals of being masculine, but just like those who were part of the feminist movement who were not anti-male, they are not highly visible in the media and are therefore assumed to be nonexistent. 
- Personally, I think that men's liberation is already in progress. Again, referencing something from earlier, men who are stay-at-home fathers are the ones who have begun to take the first steps. Not only are they seeing life from an angle that used to be "off limits", but they are also able to gain some "feminine traits" that would possibily not have been available in another domain. However, as a whole, this is not enough to be deemed a movement. In comparison to the feminist movement, in which things are being done to change women's lives, the topic of men's liberation is taken as more of a joke and thus swept under the rug. It is assumed by our society that men are already liberated, but it's those same ideas that assign what it means to be a man that are keeping men confined.
- I think that an alternative masculinity would look the same as an alternative femininity. In other words, if the lines between the two were to be blurred to the point in which the idea of a little of both in everyone was glorified, that would be my alternative masculinity. Basically, I don't like the idea that there assumed roles for people still - everyone should be able to do everything.