Blog 3 Response Alexandra Rose

1.)          This clip shows the mom being stressed out and trying to take care of several things at one time that relate to her family and work. I don't know if this is sexist, but it definitely casts the role of the woman as not just a mother but a mother who never has a moment to spare and is still barely getting everything done. The husband is not in the clip as much just because it is a movie trailer that focuses on the main character. However, his moments are rarely as stressed as hers, although he is the other half of the parenting couple. I am not surprised by these roles at all because in my experience this is true. In my family it is the women who organize things, plan ahead and notify everyone about events/time/place, etc. In my family it is also the women who get the household stuff done, purchase gifts, sign and send cards, cook for the family meals, clean up after the meals, arrange childcare, and so much more. There is one exception to this when my uncle cooks at his house, he is the best cook in the family too. But I know that not every family is like this and that younger generations of families also have different roles when it comes to norms. I don't know how my future family will operate, but it definitely will not be unbalanced like this.

I actually saw this movie when it came out this summer because I related to the stress portrayed in the trailer (and that's without raising a family). Sometimes I seriously do wonder how people do everything they do when they have a family. But I realize that it is mostly the woman's role I think about, so I don't think it would be a movie if it was a man. I know that I lose sleep over making the mental list of things to do and I have talked with other women who also do the same thing, but do males do this to? I don't have an answer because I don't know, I've never had this conversation with males. This issue makes me think of part of my poem that I wrote for our gender identity videos:

Girls are told,

“You can be anything.”

But sometimes it sounds like,

“You have to be everything.” 

There is a lot of pressure to…

be an organized and involved mom,

have a successful career,

be a supportive wife,

maintain a healthy and attractive body,

keep technologically up to date,

maintain a fulfilling social life,

stay politically active,

and not get lost in the middle.

I don't know if this clip embodies what bell hooks is trying to prevent. One of her quotes on page 23 is that "we allow mainstream patriarchal mass media to remain the primary place where folks learn about feminism, and most of what they learn is negative." I don't think this clip is sexist in a negative way, but rather that it is a representation of many people's reality that is a reflection of sexism in our society. 

2.)          My reaction to the commercial is that it is just a mom who has a daughter with a different sense of style than she would prefer. I think it just has to do with the mom and that she wanted a daughter who also liked pink and frilly things like the mom does. When I in high school I had a relative whose 4-yr-old daughter wanted non-traditional things like when they went shopping for school backpacks she only wanted the gray one with a huge motorcycle on it. But her mom didn't have a problem with it and let her develop her own sense of style. Her daughter is now in high school, is all about sports and rarely dresses in traditional girl's attire. And she is a very happy well-adjusted teen. Another story I heard about was a mom who did not like or wear makeup and fashionable clothes but had a daughter that loved this stuff more than anything. In this case the mom also allowed her daughter to pursue her interests and a later modeling career, even though it was not the mom's style. I think it all has to do with the parent accepting that the style that makes their child happy may not be the same as the parent's style of choice for their child. Here is an example of a child being allowed to express herself in her chosen way and being happy because of it: 

3.)          I have been trying to think of children's books that embody sexist notions for two days and I can't come up with any. I've read some research online that is all about male characters and stuff, but I guess that doesn't apply to the children's books that I read as a kid or the books that I read to my younger cousins these days. I think this is a good thing that I couldn't think of any of the top of my head. When I was younger my parents were very careful about the messages I received from toys, books and movies, so they picked them very thoughtfully. I read lots of books with strong female lead characters or non-gender books about animals in the jungle. I do the same thing now when I pick out books for babysitting my cousins.