Blog 4 Response Alexandra Rose

Ch 13 Question 1

I think it is almost always unintentional when any caregiver teaches children sexist thinking and it is often something passed down in families. For example, my two little girl cousins are 4 and 5 and are raised in the most completely different environments possible, especially when it comes to their parent(s). They eat different foods, wear different clothing styles, play with different Barbie clothes and watch different television shows. I see how much of an effect this has on them but that the parents are doing mostly what their parents did for them. My way of changing this is the choices that I make when I babysit on weekends. I take care of my cousin who is receiving many more sexist influences on Fridays or Saturdays and I choose everything carefully from the books at the library to the movies choices on Netflix. I want her to learn about geography and art and photography and taking care of animals and traveling and learning piano…and everything! Her interests in traditional girl stuff is fine, I just want to expand on it and give her a little bit of what she may not get at home. I don’t think anyone in her family has attended college, many were teen moms, there is lots of drug abuse, new boyfriends, new jobs, absent fathers and other kinds of unrest in her side of the family. I try not to see these obstacles for my cousin because I want to picture her with as many opportunities as my other cousin, but I know that it starts now and it starts with all of the little choices.

Ch 13 Question 2

            I think there has been some more attention to female child abusers in recent years, especially in child sexual abuse. This also makes me think of the concept of “nanny-cams” or hidden cameras that parents set up to make sure their nannies or babysitters are not stealing, being lazy or mistreating the kids. There have been some cases of parents finding out that their childcare workers were indeed abusing their kids by yelling at them and handling them roughly like when they would yank them by the arm out of their high chairs. I remember seeing some of this footage when I was younger on a television news show like dateline or something. It was obviously powerful enough to stick with me this long.

          The mother’s actions in this video clip here could be considered a form of verbal abuse to me only if it is a regular occurrence. Everyone gets frustrated, I know I do when I take care of kids. Everyone has moments when they are rushing around, speak sharply to the kids and maybe even yell at them. If this happens more than a few times in their childhood, yes it is abuse. But my mom would completely lose it when I was a kid with my brother and I and I don’t consider that abuse. It’s just frustration, stress, anger all mixed up together and expressed in an unhealthy way. But if a mom has a regular pattern of this type of behavior, even though she never physically mishandles the child, it can be considered verbal abuse.

Ch 14 Question 1

I agree with many of hooks’ statements about the sexual liberation of women because it created more of an equal opportunity situation in which there was an unbalance. To me sexual liberation is more like redefining anything sexual. There is still room for more sexual liberation for everyone, men, women and others. This video is interesting to me because of the attitude of the woman and the meanings she puts onto her work. I can understand the importance she puts on her religion and how much it affects her work but I do not share her belief system and feel that it reflects some outdated, unneeded standards.

Ch 14 Question 2

I think one of the major keys to a successful marriage is that both individuals are aware of their own weaknesses in addition to their strengths. For example, if someone doesn’t make the best financial decisions it is better for them to admit it to themselves and be able to work through that challenge with their partner instead of denying and hiding it because then it becomes a problem. I used to think that it would take forever for me to get married because I wanted to figure out all of my problems first and then after they were all sorted out I could marry someone without bringing all of that into the relationship. This makes me laugh now. I have realized that it is okay to be in a relationship while I work on issues because that is what life is. And that is also what a partnership is, letting someone see you struggle with your most personal challenges and letting them help you. I still work on self-improvement a lot because the more aware I am of myself, my patterns, my likes and dislikes, my contradictions, the better partner I will make in the future.