On page 72, bell hooks states "Even in households where no adult male caregiver is present, women taught and teach children sexist thinking." What kind of sexist thinking do you think is being taught to children and how would feminist go about changing that? Also, why do you think a woman would teach her children sexist thinking? Or is it even intentional?
I think a lot of the sexism is being taught just based on societal norms. Like we've discussed recently with regards to relationships, the media has definitely painted a picture of what's normal and that happens to include gender roles. Generally, little girls are taught to help make food in the kitchen and help clean, while little boys may be more prompted to construct/build things and be leaders. I think this sexism would be especially prevalent if the mother was raised in a two-parent household that generally followed heteronormative roles. In this case, she would have been raised with these sexist roles, so teaching them to her children would seem okay. I think feminists would be more cautious in teaching sexist roles. They would probably be more apt to introduce gender-neutral ideas and encourage kids to participate in whatever role they wished. I think teaching these roles can be both intentional and unintentional. For instance, if a woman was raised with these roles as her own norm, it would be likely that she teaches them to her children without really realizing why she does it. On the other hand, in order to keep their children "mainstream', mothers may be more likely to raise their children with these expected norms so as not to isolate them or make them different from their peers.
Question 2:
Hooks notes that no one wants to call attention to women abusing children. After viewing the video below, why do you think people have done so little to calling attention to this abuse by mothers? What was your reaction to this video? Do you think it was abuse?
I think no one wants to blame women for abuse because mothers are supposed to be the nurturing ones, while the dads are supposed to be more strict and tough, therefore, lending to the idea of being more physically or verbally violent. The video was tough to watch. I volunteer at Voices of Hope here in Lincoln and just finished a 35 hour training session all about familial violence. So, while I acknowledge the statistical opinions, I have no tolerance for any form of violence. This video got a lot of controversy on the Dr. Phil show, and it definitely brings to attention an abusive mother.
Ch. 14-Question 1:
Bell hooks states “Women having the freedom to be non-monogamous, whether we
exercise that freedom or not, continues to disrupt and challenge the notion
that the female body belongs to men” (hooks, 2000, pg 80-81). Watch the video
below and respond to the following questions: Her decision to forego her
modeling career to reserve her body solely for her husband was a bold choice.
What are your opinions on this? Is this an example of the suppression of a
woman’s sexual freedom and expression? How does this video correspond with the
ideas presented in chapter 14?
I would like to first start off by saying this chapter was super frustrating for me to read. Despite trying to keep an open mind, I honestly could not agree with anything bell hooks was trying to say. So, with that being said, I think this video simply shows a model changing her mind based on moral reasoning. She said multiple times it was her decision to quit modeling for Victoria's Secret and listed off numerous examples other than her husband. I don't think this shows suppression of her sexual freedom or expression. She even said she wants to continue to model but wants it to be in a more moral fashion. In my opinion, the video doesn't correspond all that much. Yes, she is giving up her current modeling career, but she reiterates multiple times it was not solely because of her husband. I often think women aren't given enough credit for making decisions based on personal reasons rather than others' opinions. From the interview, I would say this was a personal and moralistic decision.
Question 2:
Bell hooks states, “Marriages built on a sexist foundation are likely to be deeply
troubled and rarely last” (hooks, 2000, pg 83). It’s clear that hooks believes
that traditional gender roles in marriage make for an unequal and dissatisfying
union, clarifying that her definition of sexism is equal or comparable to
patriarchy. It could be argued that hooks would disagree with a traditional
marriage. To bring to life an example of this let us take for instance a
stereotypical traditional marriage. The Catholic Church is known for this ‘sacred union’ between a husband and wife. Today, 50% of marriages end in divorce. We question what you suggest is the solution to a fulfilling marriage? Describe what you think this looks like and why it would be successful. Also, if you are able, describe a marriage that youwould consider ‘loving’ and ‘flourishing.’
As a person of strong Catholic faith, I would attribute faith, trust, love, and understanding as staples for a fulfilling marriage. While I understand there is a lot more that goes into it, I believe these four things help create an extremely positive and beneficial environment for the marriage to prosper. I know I would want someone who I can share my faith with, as well as love, have trust in, and be understanding of our differences and similarities. I honestly have been so lucky to know a lot of amazing couples who have absolutely beautiful marriages that are both loving and flourishing. It would be completely juvenile to ignore the idea that disagreements and fights will occur in EVERY marriage; however, couples who are able to work through the problems and grow from them definitely practice positive relationship skills. I believe marriage is such a compromising situation that in order to be happy, both individuals have to be willing to give and take a little.
These are MY parents. I know, kind of cheesy, but they're seriously amazing role models as a married couple. Sure, they've had some bumps along the way, but after 25 years, they must be doing something right :).
Wow! The video about the abusive mother was really hard to watch! I couldn't even finish it. Great example though.
ReplyDeleteThanks for including your personal connection with this week's readings and discussing how you disagree with some of the points. It's important to be able to feel comfortable to disagree! Congrats to your parents on 25-years of marriage. What great role models!And great blog!
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