Blog #4 - Feminism in the Family

Chapter 13

Question #1
- To start off, the way I interpreted bell hooks' statement was that it was true in terms of the sexist household chores we all know: cooking, cleaning, fixing things, yardwork, etc. From this view, it could make sense that parents are unknowingly sexist because of the things they do and do not let their kids do. For instance, it's a stereotype that young/little girls are more "dainty" than little boys (mostly, as what was shown in class, because of media representations in toy commercials). If we take the mentality that different kids' gender/sex puts them into different categories of what they can and cannot do, they are going to be taught sexist ideals because those are so prevalent, and subliminal, in society.
- I think the sexist things being taught to children are unintentional. As talked about a few times in class, and in our book, social learning and modeling are common things that children do when they are growing up. Seeing their parents doing something is likely what they will absorb and emmulate because family is the first place where we learn things. Kids will take what they learn from their families as common place until told other wise.

Question #2
- The clip in the main blog post I see as abuse. bell hooks mentioned briefly that verbal abuse is no different from physical or psychological abuse - they're all abuse. A reason I think that we, as a society, think abuse done by mothers/women is not as bad as abuse done by fathers/men is because we have a previous idea of women as being not as strong/forceful as men. The abuse done by men is often times seen (as in the 3rd PSA of the child abuse clip) in the form of bruises and cuts - but the abuse done by women is often covert and less noticeable. This is an even bigger problem, I think, because bruises and scrapes can heal, but psychological damage and emotional trauma can be unknowingly carried around by individuals for years, and torment them well after the abuse occurred.
- Below is a critique of a news show. The news show was talking about a mother who abused her kids, and got caught - listen to what one of the reporters says to "qualify" the abuse, and how the critic explains it. This mother used emotional abuse on her daughters in an effort to "teach them"...crazy... Also, there's some interesting laws at the end that really show what bell hooks was trying to say out children as property and them having no say/real rights.

Chapter 14

Question #1
- This totally reminds me of another model who refused to bear it all!

- Personally, I don't know if I would have had the strength to turn down being a Victoria's Secret angel, but I give her (Kylie) MAJOR props for being able to walk away from that revealing part of the modelling biz! However, compared to the girl who is in the clip above (Shannon), I'm going to say that I will "judge" Kylie's decision to cover up much more, simply because she knew, going into the modeling business with Victoria's Secret that she'd be modeling lingerie - they don't showcase their robes on the televised fashion show, or on their advertisements. Yet, I think that both Shannon and Kylie, as well as all women, have the right to say what they will do with their bodies - whether or not they know that is another thing.
- In terms of what bell hooks was saying in regards to sexual freedom, I don't think this is an example. Unfortunately though, I think that this video (as well as the one I posted) shows what bell hooks was saying about men having dominion over women's bodies. I see Shannon and Kylie as wanting to save their bodies for only their husbands to please him (aside from the news runner was saying in Kylie's interview about her choice being religiously grounded).


Question #2
- This might be a cheesy answer cause I'm a comm/psych major, but I think understanding and communication are the main keys to a successful, fulfilling, and lasting marriage. First off, for understanding, I think that being able to (ha, kinda like the child abuse PSAs) take a step back and think about things before jumping to conclusions is a great way to handle conflicts in relationships. It is quite often that not all the pieces of information are present from both sides of the argument, making it incredibly difficult to come to a coherent decision on how to handle things, on both ends of the issue. Understanding that you are each different, unique, imperfect human beings is, I think, the best way to enter into any relationship (not just a romantic one) so that when things inevitably go wrong, there is really no one to blame right off the bat - that is, unless a super wrong has occurred, like cheating or murder. As for communication, this should be occurring all the time - not just when you are at dinner, mad at each other, or your friends aren't free to hang out. Being aware of what is being communicated to each other is something that is a big issue for couples (why else would we have the saying "it's just a miscommunication"?).
- A marriage I see as loving and flourishing is a perfectly imperfect one. A marriage where things go wrong, but the couple is there to pick each other up is one that I would be more than happy to be in. I think this clip shows my point of what good can come with bad. (The part to pay attention to is at 2:10-3:30)